Success is motivating

Comeback stories can trick us into believing that it’s the ‘back against the wall’ that motivates us, but closer inspection reveal that deficits just leave people feeling defeated. When we face a challenge, our best source of motivation is to build on our past success. (tweetable)

The comeback happens after coaches put things in perspective, break things down, and help people focus on what they know how to do. They fall back to successes, even small ones and build. One basket, one goal at a time and the motivation returns, not fueled by the lack of something but by success.

In interviews after a comeback, we hear quotes like “We never stopped believing.” or “We just took it one shot at a time.”

Success is motivating.

Encouragement and Support are motivating

We love the story of one person’s triumph over obstacles and the imposition of will in a moment. The truth is though that no one ever truly achieved success on their own. Sure there are individuals who without personal dedication, focus, and determination would not be successful, but none of them really did it alone.

I was reminded of this on Mother’s Day when a simple story about the role of mothers in the lives of athletes. No one achieves their goals without support. Parents, teachers, coaches, and even strangers who take an interest, can be catalysts for change or the encouragement to carry on.

Operating from fear

People sometimes suggest that fear is a motivator. If you are like me you’ve acted out of fear before. In my case, it has never been a strong platform to operate from and the results are often never worth it. We end up saying ‘yes’ to things that cost us too much in the end. Fear is not a launching pad for success. (tweetable)

So, with your back against the wall, where do you begin?

Start small and build – Find even the smallest success you’ve had. Make one phone call, fill out one application, run for one minute and build.

Measure the right thing – There many successes on the way to your goal. Measure your efforts, not just your accomplishments. (tweetable)

Look for encouragement – Find ways to get feedback from people you trust or admire. We need to know we’re on the right track.

Start over - You may fail on even the smallest goal at least once. Pick something you know you can do and build again.

Every triumph leaves a trail of small successes, each one encouraging the next. (tweetable)

So, what motivates you?

—

Rob Hatch writes his “Love The Grind” newsletter every Thursday.

But what I’m most excited about when observing everyone is the difference between readers and do-ers.

TRANSFORMATION COMES FROM ACTION

You and I can read all we want. We can “collect ideas” all we want. Until we give it a go, we won’t know how it “really” works. (tweetable) For instance, I just did my first ever HIIT workout (high intensity interval training). I’d read about it for a while, and it sounded ouchy. Do something really intensely for 30 seconds, for instance, and then rest 1 minute. Repeat for about 30 minutes. From all I read about it, I worried that I couldn’t do it.

When I gave it a shot, I learned rather quickly how it works. I can explain to you what I learned, but until you try it, you’ll have knowledge but not experience.

In MDC, I tell people to put their social media badges (the “follow me all over creation” ones) on their about page instead of their main page. Usually, I’ll get pushback. But when people try it AND use Google Analytics and other tools like CrazyEgg, they can report back to me the difference. Because they took an action. (By the way, the report back tends to validate what I recommend.)

READ, THEN ACT

I recently purchased a bunch of different fitness magazines. The experience was interesting. I pulled the following actionable information from what I learned:

* If there was a long article with someone, it was useful. If it was a “tidbits” kind of article, it was rarely useful (usually the questions were fluff).

* If there was a “recipe,” as I like to call them, the articles were useful. If it was just “informative,” I couldn’t actually remember the lesson.

* If the article suggested other resources, the information suggested was always helpful in deepening my understanding.

* Articles that prompted an action instead of a thought process got me to take the action more often. Articles that wanted me to think a certain way were easy to forget.

WHEN THINKING AND PLANNING BECOME PROCRASTINATION

You do it. We all do. You label something “research” when what you really mean is, “I’m scared” or “I have no idea how to do what needs doing.”

Want some actions to unstick?

* Find a model of someone doing what you need to do.

* Ask people if they know someone who’s accomplished it.

* Try whatever needs doing privately (if possible) and see what you learn from the failure.

* Fail publicly (I do this).

* Write out the chunks. Step 1. Step 2. Step 3.

* “What will happen if…” Write out your protests. Ask yourself if they’re dumb.

* Answer this: “I’m resisting because…” If the answer is silly, commit to not resisting.

Did those resonate? Feel free to point people to this post here.

BE CLEAR IN WHAT YOU WANT

The folks who joined me for Mastering The Digital Channel want more business activity (and that might mean “more church members” or “more people reading my nonprofit material that needs reading” etc). Most of them are taking action and implementing what they’re learning, or at least experimenting and making some choices based on what they’ve learned.

Are you taking action? Or are you reading? And what will jolt you into action of any kind?

SELLY SELL: ABOUT THAT ACTION

If you missed joining Mastering The Digital Channel the first time, it’s ready for you now. Want a reason to join right NOW? If you use the code “action” (all lowercase), I’ll knock the price down from $697 to $447 (which you can do in 3 easy payments of $149).

But because we’re talking about action, I’m only leaving that code live until 5/20. So, you know, you can read about the course, or you can jump in while it’s $250 off!

Otherwise? I’ll see you next week, my owners and producers!

The podcast version is here.

Please Consider Getting My Newsletter

Here’s exactly what you get when you sign up to my newsletter: I write you a weekly newsletter every Sunday. In it, I’ll tell you a story that will illustrate some point that’s useful to your life, your business, your organization, or maybe all of these. I’ll invite you to participate. I’ll be very personal. My goal is to help you build a strong, sustainable, relationship-minded business.

This letter is written be me, Chris Brogan. If you hit reply, the reply goes to me. I respond as soon as I can. Most people can’t believe how fast, but don’t let me get your hopes up. Sometimes, it takes a few days. But if you hit reply, I’m there.

If I intend to sell you something (and I do that, sometimes), it’ll be very clear. Somewhat comically so.

So join me. I respect your privacy and will honor your trust in us.

Join us for free and get valuable insights that you’ll end up eagerly awaiting. This is a community pretending to be a newsletter. You are why I write it.

Your privacy and email address are safe with us.

And thanks so much for your support.

–Chris…

One of the things Chris said is “If you don’t plot out a course, then no amount of systems or tools will help you navigate.” He’s right, though don’t tell him I said so.

But what if you feel like can’t even see your way clear to plot anything? What if you feel like your day is full of reacting to what comes at you?  What if you’re struggling just to keep up with the information, all the while feeling further and further behind?

Decisions Are Distractions

Our brains are on overload from sorting through the information that comes at us each day. Research has demonstrated that for every decision we make, our ability to make subsequent decisions is decreased.  This means that spending energy thinking about what to have for breakfast actually impacts your ability to perform.

One of the ways I coach people on how to get a handle on this, is to pare down the number of decisions in a day by setting up simple systems.

With that in mind, here are 5 simple ways to reduce the number of decisions in your day.

1. Turn off your notifications – Email, Twitter, Facebook, GooglePlus and virtually every App on our phone is set up to notify us of something we probably don’t need to know in that moment.  If you keep these notifications on, you are essentially saying that ANYONE can interrupt you whenever they want to tell you something that may or may not be helpful. Responding to notifications means that you value your own time less than getting a Like on Facebook. (tweetable)

2. Get something done BEFORE you check in – Pick one project, just one thing that you will work on for 40 minutes in the morning before you check email or social networks. I actually recommend more, but start with 1 for 40 minutes. It will change your life.

3. Pick the one thing before you go to bed – The one project I just mentioned, figure it out before you go to bed and write it down.

4. Setup is key – Your inbox should serve you.  Spending 10-15 minutes setting up your email client to serve up emails to you the way that YOU want them is worth dozens of hours of lost time. Use filters to make decisions for you about which emails should go where.  Pick 5 people from whom you receive regular, important emails and create folders and filters so that you can get to their information quickly.

5. One Blank Page – Ideas and random thoughts can be distracting too. Much like that little red notification circle, you can feel compelled to respond to every idea or thought that comes into your head. If you do, you have to stop what you’re doing and start something new.  Start your day with a blank piece of paper and a pen, to quickly jot down random thoughts and ideas so that you can stay focused on your work.  You can’t turn off your brain, but you can relax and stay focused knowing that you’ve captured it for later.

Customizing and Automating

It sounds personalized and impersonal all at the same time, doesn’t it? Automation doesn’t have to be impersonal though. Oddly enough it can make us all human again.

Whether it is your apps, your phone, your computer, your time or even your desk, there are hundreds of ways to customize your experience. The problem is, we take what is given to us as the prepackaged solution to all our needs. Whatever IT is, it isn’t the solution and it never will be. It’s time to stop accepting the default setting for our technology and our lives. (tweetable)

In customizing our experiences there are also opportunities to automate.  Notifications aren’t all evil. Reminders for meetings are a fantastic use of customization and automation.  Alarms are great, too. My personal favorite is my 10PM “Go To Bed You Idiot” alarm. It’s not as nice as “Goodnight Moon”, but it does the trick and it reinforces the habit I want. Automation is simply a good habit delegated to a system. (tweetable)

Take a good look at your day and see where you can eliminate decisions.

Let me know how you did and if you’ve gained back any points in Chris’ secret game.

–

Rob Hatch writes his “Love The Grind” newsletter every Thursday.

What’s funny about this is that I suspect you signed up to get this newsletter because you hoped I would teach you about… I dunno, the best social media tools, or the newest and most amazing marketing technique.

The best way I know to do business is to help you inside and out with the real roots of it all. Let someone else teach Pinterest strategies. For instance, today, I wanted to share something I find very helpful in keeping me on top of all that I do. For some reason, this comes up often. “Chris, you produce more content than most anyone else I know” is something I hear a lot.

I have a secret.

YOU ARE PLAYING THE WORLD’S #1 SECRET GAME, BUT YOU MIGHT NOT BE DOING SO WELL

Are you worried about the comments you’re getting or not getting on your blog? Are you frustrated by having to set up a Google+ account and keep it thriving? Are you wondering whether you should get into Vine or whether you should be doing whatever else Mashable and TechCrunch tell you to do?

What about the way that lady talked to you the other day? What do you think is really going on? Are you wondering about how you’re ever going to get all the work done that’s piling up on your desk? Will you get the 3% raise that seems to be the annual norm? What just lit up the inbox?

The world’s #1 secret game is Distraction. Capital D. We have an incredible ability to take in lots and lots of information, and we spend an amazing amount of time worrying about things that don’t matter. And we worry about belonging. We get distracted by all kinds of things. Distraction is a game and you, I’m worried, might be losing.

But first, I have to give some background on the idea of games and life.

EVERYTHING IS A GAME

What’s the definition of a game? Games have some set of rules. Games have a way to “win.” Games have points or other kinds of scoring and reward mechanisms. What separates a “game” from “play” is that play doesn’t have to have any of these elements. (Play just has to NOT be serious or practical.)

You can overlay the concept of “games” on most of life. Jobs? Easy, but not. There are many games one can play at work. “Just let me make it through the day” is one game lots of people seem to play. “Do all the politics things so I’ll get a raise” is another. There are many games.

Relationships? Absolutely. Do you really think your significant other isn’t “scoring” how many times you leave your socks on the floor against how helpful you are in taking the kids so he or she can get a nap? All the intentions are serious and heartfelt, but we most certainly work towards doing more positive for our partners in life than negative. It’s probably best not to “keep score” (it’s a fairly bad idea, I’ll say), but if you want to improve your life, treat love like a verb and play the love game to win.

But I digress.

THE DISTRACTION GAME AND HOW TO WIN

There’s “news” and there’s “news media.” Some of what we need from news is very important and society wouldn’t function without it. Visit a relative for the first time in a long while and the first thing you’ll ask is for the family’s news. But the systems that create news and news TV channels are working at a different game: the “keep your attention” game. Now, to win, they don’t have to equip you for success. They only need your eyes and your wallets. Thus, a good lot of what you consume there isn’t really built to help you. Their game is to hook your attention. Your game is to unhook yourself and get back some more time.

In all these digital spaces, there are all kinds of weird distraction games. Worrying about your Klout score doesn’t change how many clients you have. Finding more clients does. Worrying about comments doesn’t improve your customer’s opinions. Most of the measurements of the web play the distraction game of having you try and improve them.  Your game is to improve the community you have the pleasure to serve. 

Life has an amazing ability to fill itself with distractions. You can volunteer for as many organizations as you find. You can watch as much TV as you want. You can worry about other people’s thoughts and what they’re doing and what kinds of jerks they are. You can hope that your job will lead you towards new opportunities (instead of seeking them). You can use up hours and hours of your time with these distractions. Your game is to be deliberate and choose what’s on your plate.

YOUR GPS ISN’T BROKEN

If you purchase a new GPS and then start driving, the GPS will tell you exactly where you are. That information is completely useless. You know where you are. You can look out the windows for that. What a GPS can’t tell you is where you’re going. Unless you tell it where you want to go.

Life’s like that. If you don’t plot out a course, then no amount of systems and tools will help you navigate. And if you want to lose the distraction game fast, go through life (and by “life,” I mean every single day) without a plan.

A QUICK RECIPE TO EARN BACK DISTRACTION POINTS

* Your inbox is the perfect delivery system for other people’s priorities. (tweetable) . Commit to checking mail only 2x a day for 30 minutes each. Tops. If someone’s important enough to need you more often, give them your cell and have them text you.

* You don’t have to do everything well. Do one thing well. Pare and outsource the rest. (tweetable) You can grow later, but most people try growing too early.

* Go on a “keeping up” diet. There is no race. Work on what needs doing. And if you have to keep up, try keeping up with your customers. Spend your time with them, not “news.”

* You already belong. Fitting in is a waste of time. Stand out. (tweetable)

* Worry less about ALL the numbers, and worry more about making a good game. No one ever remembers their score on Pac Man or how many chips they won in poker. They remember winning. Or not.

WHAT IF YOU COMMITTED TO ANY ONE OR TWO OF THOSE FIVE IDEAS?

You know, when we read a newsletter like this, sometimes we just read it, nod along, hit reply (PLEASE) and tell me that it’s well-said (or disagree or whatever), and then we go on our way.

What if you committed to just one or two of those ideas above? What would happen? Are you willing to try?

Could you improve your score at the Distraction game?

Let’s set a time frame. How about just a week. Are you in? Can you do it?

Hit reply, let me know. Or blog about it. Or whatever. But let’s do it. Commit to the Distraction game. It’s my favorite secret game. Now, let’s win.

There’s no podcast version this week but there’s a blog version. : )

Please Consider Getting My Newsletter

Here’s exactly what you get when you sign up to my newsletter: I write you a weekly newsletter every Sunday. In it, I’ll tell you a story that will illustrate some point that’s useful to your life, your business, your organization, or maybe all of these. I’ll invite you to participate. I’ll be very personal. My goal is to help you build a strong, sustainable, relationship-minded business.

This letter is written be me, Chris Brogan. If you hit reply, the reply goes to me. I respond as soon as I can. Most people can’t believe how fast, but don’t let me get your hopes up. Sometimes, it takes a few days. But if you hit reply, I’m there.

If I intend to sell you something (and I do that, sometimes), it’ll be very clear. Somewhat comically so.

So join me. I respect your privacy and will honor your trust in us.

Join us for free and get valuable insights that you’ll end up eagerly awaiting. This is a community pretending to be a newsletter. You are why I write it.

Your privacy and email address are safe with us.

And thanks so much for your support.

–Chris…

Aside from spending time watching one of my favorite superheroes, the other thing I’ll be doing is preparing to spend a few days with one of my real life heroes, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton or Dr. B. as most folks call him.

I’m attending, the National Touchpoints Conference which is based on his work.  Dr. B is perhaps the most influential pediatrician since Dr. Spock and recently received the Presidential Citizen’s Medal for his pioneering work with children and families. He continues to write and work and oh, by the way is also turning 95 this weekend.

The conference is a gathering of those who use his Touchpoints Approach, in their work with children and families.

While my daily work is not directly connected to work with children and families, it used to be and after 20 years in the field, I still train practitioners from time to time and love this community of people. Honestly, I still use a great deal from my experience in the field, particularly what I have learned from Dr. B, in my work today.

What I respect most about Dr. Brazelton is the way he thinks and his way of being with people.  Among his many contributions, Dr. B. designed the Touchpoints Approach which at its core, values individuals, assumes everyone has strengths, that everyone has something critical to share and that they desire to do well. It’s a fantastic way to approach people don’t you think?

What we ask of people

Anyone who is in a position of supporting people, whether it is children and families, or customers is often put in the challenging position of having to be their best selves at all times.

We ask them to be respectful, understanding, kind, responsive.  We often ask them to be expert in a variety of areas. They are evaluated on how well they handle situations, as they probably should be.  But what support are we providing to them?

Supporting the Supporters

One of the core beliefs of Dr. B and the Touchpoints Approach is that ‘providers of support need support and respect of the kind that we are asking them to provide’.

Think about that for a second.

Here it is again.

The people who are at the front line of communication with customers or clients require support and respect of the kind that you are asking them to provide.

I didn’t repeat that because I think you don’t understand it.  I just believe that we often don’t take time to consider this in our professional lives and what it means or more importantly what it looks like in practice.

Some organizations are better at this than others to be sure, but how often do we think about providing the same form of support internally that we do to customers?

There is of course the argument that people in this position are employees and that it is their chosen profession, emphasis on chosen.  After all, don’t they get support in the form of compensation and benefits?

Words matters and the phrase ‘of the kind’ was a deliberate choice.  We know that monetary incentives simply aren’t the motivating factor we believe them to be.

So, what would it look like if you provided support to those you work with, of the kind you expect them to provide?

—

Rob Hatch writes his “Love The Grind” newsletter every Thursday.

I’ve got a delicious mug of green tea, iced with a bit of lime squeezed into it and some local honey. You?

Who do you know that… does whatever? How often do you get that question in a week? If you almost never hear it, that’s maybe a sign that you’re not exactly a connector. If you hear it all the time, my guess is that you’re also quite successful. But the work in keeping a community alive is difficult, and a lot of times, we just don’t know what to do.

You might not be a very social person. In fact, you might be shy. And yet, having a network of value is every bit as important. Introverts and extroverts alike need to make connecting a verb. Not networking: connecting.

I want to give you four keys to consider how to nurture your monchu (this is an Okinawan word that means “one family”), no matter where you are in the process.

1. YOUR MONCHU IS A LIVING ASSET

I want to share a pattern that happens in my inbox all the time (by this, I mean almost daily):

*New mail arrives from name I know. “Hi Chris. Long time no chat. Hey, I’m doing this … and I need you to … Can you help? Oh, and how can I help you?”

At this moment, a kind of unspoken “math” happens. Do I really like this person? Is their ask all that difficult? Do I feel like helping yet another person who hasn’t really reached out until this moment where they need something?

And because that’s my thought process, I naturally fear that others are making the same math when I reach out to them cold.

Key #1: Nurture your connections so that you never fall into the “math” problem. Not everyone you’ve ever met, but even a “top 20,” would be good (which I think Michael Port mentions is his ideal number).

2. GIVE GIVE GIVE WITHOUT ANY INTENT OR EXPECTATIONS

I’ve met plenty of “networkers” and very few of them are useful to me. Why? Because most times, they know some people and have contacts for people, but they don’t have the loyalty and trust and respect of those people. The difference, almost always, is the vast chasm between “having someone’s contact info” and “having someone’s success in mind.”

As often as possible, give. As often as possible, give without wondering “what’s in it for me.” (feel like tweeting this?) The more I give of myself freely to people who are givers themselves, the more everything blossoms. (I feel like I’m quoting Bob Burg’s Go-Giver books.)

I sent email to a bunch of friends the other day asking about advice they might have about email marketing. Everyone wrote me back and reasonably quickly and with really useful info. But then, they know that I’ll give when it’s my turn.

Something I’ve come to learn: givers find each other and give to excess. Networkers give to get and wait for expectations and quid pro quo.

Key #2: Giving is the core ingredient to receiving in abundance.

3. ALLOW FOR SERENDIPITY

We tend to cluster. We form tribes and cliques. If you’re in tech, you hang with the tech heads. If you’re in finance, you cluster with those speaking your language. It’s natural. And yet, it means you’ll only hear the inside baseball story. We are forever in jeopardy of clamming up and closing off our walls to the beauty and magic of the wild edges of our world.

I interviewed Adam Woolley the other day for an upcoming episode of my radio show. Adam is trying to keep circus arts alive in America. He trains people in all kinds of things from aerial acrobatics to contortion. There’s no business reason to know Adam. I know him because he’s interesting and passionate. YOU should know circus people. You should know people like Jay Sankey, who teach magic and oddly, what deception can teach us about truth.

Learn how to build your network out to other geographies, other pursuits, and other passions. It always pays off. There’s never a reason not to know people outside of your specific cloister. There are many reasons why it’s vital.

Key #3: Make an extra effort to stay connected to the unique and varied people of this universe. (tweetable)

4. IT STARTS AND ENDS WITH THE LITTLE THINGS

A bunch of days ago, I had the opportunity to travel with my 7 year old son to speak at the Social Fresh conference. Harold is a very bright boy with a fairly decent grasp of social interactions, and he often has something he wants to show you upon meeting him.

I marveled at who took the time to make eye contact with Harold (hi, Clay Hebert and hi Nicole and Cate and many others!), and who chose to engage with him as if he were a contributor, and I also made silent note of those who pretended he was a pet (just a few folks, probably also social uncomfortable).

I also found myself making sure that I gave everyone as much time as I could, because they’d traveled to see me. I made as much time as possible to everyone who came to speak with me. I listened to what anyone wanted to tell me, and mostly acknowledged people’s interest in connecting.

Those are the little things and they matter. Heck, I just got a letter from Tom Martin who has a new book coming out. In it, he talked about his project with Mardi Gras, when he sent me my first ever King cake. Right now, with my eyes closed, I can taste that cake. I can tell you this: I know I’ll be getting one next year come Mardi Gras, even though that project is over, because it’s a little nod to how Tom and I connected (and because I just said it publicly in this letter, thus forcing Tom to do it now). : )

Key #4: Pay attention the little things in your monchu and you’ll have a more powerful group of connections than anyone can even imagine.

DON’T THROW THIS AWAY

Your community, your extended family, the people you can reach out to when you have a question is a huge element of your success. Yes, you have to have your own skills and capabilities, but nobody gets anywhere alone. All the top solo acts you can name have trainers and coaches and supporters and a strong collection of people in their own monchu.

Believe it or not, just by electing to receive this letter, I consider you part of my monchu. I’m lucky to have you in this one family. And the people you’ll meet through your association with me, if I’m lucky, will enrich you all the more.

That’s what matters. That’s why we gather together every Sunday.

Thanks for being part of it.

And if you enjoyed the heck out of this newsletter, are you willing to share that with people?

Please Consider Getting My Newsletter

Here’s exactly what you get when you sign up to my newsletter: I write you a weekly newsletter every Sunday. In it, I’ll tell you a story that will illustrate some point that’s useful to your life, your business, your organization, or maybe all of these. I’ll invite you to participate. I’ll be very personal. My goal is to help you build a strong, sustainable, relationship-minded business.

This letter is written be me, Chris Brogan. If you hit reply, the reply goes to me. I respond as soon as I can. Most people can’t believe how fast, but don’t let me get your hopes up. Sometimes, it takes a few days. But if you hit reply, I’m there.

If I intend to sell you something (and I do that, sometimes), it’ll be very clear. Somewhat comically so.

So join me. I respect your privacy and will honor your trust in us.

Join us for free and get valuable insights that you’ll end up eagerly awaiting. This is a community pretending to be a newsletter. You are why I write it.

Your privacy and email address are safe with us.

And thanks so much for your support.

–Chris…

I’ve got a delicious mug of green tea, iced with a bit of lime squeezed into it and some local honey. You?

Who do you know that… does whatever? How often do you get that question in a week? If you almost never hear it, that’s maybe a sign that you’re not exactly a connector. If you hear it all the time, my guess is that you’re also quite successful. But the work in keeping a community alive is difficult, and a lot of times, we just don’t know what to do.

You might not be a very social person. In fact, you might be shy. And yet, having a network of value is every bit as important. Introverts and extroverts alike need to make connecting a verb. Not networking: connecting.

I want to give you four keys to consider how to nurture your monchu (this is an Okinawan word that means “one family”), no matter where you are in the process.

1. YOUR MONCHU IS A LIVING ASSET

I want to share a pattern that happens in my inbox all the time (by this, I mean almost daily):

*New mail arrives from name I know. “Hi Chris. Long time no chat. Hey, I’m doing this … and I need you to … Can you help? Oh, and how can I help you?”

At this moment, a kind of unspoken “math” happens. Do I really like this person? Is their ask all that difficult? Do I feel like helping yet another person who hasn’t really reached out until this moment where they need something?

And because that’s my thought process, I naturally fear that others are making the same math when I reach out to them cold.

Key #1: Nurture your connections so that you never fall into the “math” problem. Not everyone you’ve ever met, but even a “top 20,” would be good (which I think Michael Port mentions is his ideal number).

2. GIVE GIVE GIVE WITHOUT ANY INTENT OR EXPECTATIONS

I’ve met plenty of “networkers” and very few of them are useful to me. Why? Because most times, they know some people and have contacts for people, but they don’t have the loyalty and trust and respect of those people. The difference, almost always, is the vast chasm between “having someone’s contact info” and “having someone’s success in mind.”

As often as possible, give. As often as possible, give without wondering “what’s in it for me.” (feel like tweeting this?) The more I give of myself freely to people who are givers themselves, the more everything blossoms. (I feel like I’m quoting Bob Burg’s Go-Giver books.)

I sent email to a bunch of friends the other day asking about advice they might have about email marketing. Everyone wrote me back and reasonably quickly and with really useful info. But then, they know that I’ll give when it’s my turn.

Something I’ve come to learn: givers find each other and give to excess. Networkers give to get and wait for expectations and quid pro quo.

Key #2: Giving is the core ingredient to receiving in abundance.

3. ALLOW FOR SERENDIPITY

We tend to cluster. We form tribes and cliques. If you’re in tech, you hang with the tech heads. If you’re in finance, you cluster with those speaking your language. It’s natural. And yet, it means you’ll only hear the inside baseball story. We are forever in jeopardy of clamming up and closing off our walls to the beauty and magic of the wild edges of our world.

I interviewed Adam Woolley the other day for an upcoming episode of my radio show. Adam is trying to keep circus arts alive in America. He trains people in all kinds of things from aerial acrobatics to contortion. There’s no business reason to know Adam. I know him because he’s interesting and passionate. YOU should know circus people. You should know people like Jay Sankey, who teach magic and oddly, what deception can teach us about truth.

Learn how to build your network out to other geographies, other pursuits, and other passions. It always pays off. There’s never a reason not to know people outside of your specific cloister. There are many reasons why it’s vital.

Key #3: Make an extra effort to stay connected to the unique and varied people of this universe. (tweetable)

4. IT STARTS AND ENDS WITH THE LITTLE THINGS

A bunch of days ago, I had the opportunity to travel with my 7 year old son to speak at the Social Fresh conference. Harold is a very bright boy with a fairly decent grasp of social interactions, and he often has something he wants to show you upon meeting him.

I marveled at who took the time to make eye contact with Harold (hi, Clay Hebert and hi Nicole and Cate and many others!), and who chose to engage with him as if he were a contributor, and I also made silent note of those who pretended he was a pet (just a few folks, probably also social uncomfortable).

I also found myself making sure that I gave everyone as much time as I could, because they’d traveled to see me. I made as much time as possible to everyone who came to speak with me. I listened to what anyone wanted to tell me, and mostly acknowledged people’s interest in connecting.

Those are the little things and they matter. Heck, I just got a letter from Tom Martin who has a new book coming out. In it, he talked about his project with Mardi Gras, when he sent me my first ever King cake. Right now, with my eyes closed, I can taste that cake. I can tell you this: I know I’ll be getting one next year come Mardi Gras, even though that project is over, because it’s a little nod to how Tom and I connected (and because I just said it publicly in this letter, thus forcing Tom to do it now). : )

Key #4: Pay attention the little things in your monchu and you’ll have a more powerful group of connections than anyone can even imagine.

DON’T THROW THIS AWAY

Your community, your extended family, the people you can reach out to when you have a question is a huge element of your success. Yes, you have to have your own skills and capabilities, but nobody gets anywhere alone. All the top solo acts you can name have trainers and coaches and supporters and a strong collection of people in their own monchu.

Believe it or not, just by electing to receive this letter, I consider you part of my monchu. I’m lucky to have you in this one family. And the people you’ll meet through your association with me, if I’m lucky, will enrich you all the more.

That’s what matters. That’s why we gather together every Sunday.

Thanks for being part of it.

And if you enjoyed the heck out of this newsletter, are you willing to share that with people?

Please Consider Getting My Newsletter

Here’s exactly what you get when you sign up to my newsletter: I write you a weekly newsletter every Sunday. In it, I’ll tell you a story that will illustrate some point that’s useful to your life, your business, your organization, or maybe all of these. I’ll invite you to participate. I’ll be very personal. My goal is to help you build a strong, sustainable, relationship-minded business.

This letter is written be me, Chris Brogan. If you hit reply, the reply goes to me. I respond as soon as I can. Most people can’t believe how fast, but don’t let me get your hopes up. Sometimes, it takes a few days. But if you hit reply, I’m there.

If I intend to sell you something (and I do that, sometimes), it’ll be very clear. Somewhat comically so.

So join me. I respect your privacy and will honor your trust in us.

Join us for free and get valuable insights that you’ll end up eagerly awaiting. This is a community pretending to be a newsletter. You are why I write it.

Your privacy and email address are safe with us.

And thanks so much for your support.

–Chris…

I’m a huge proponent of time blocking. I usually set-aside three, 40 minute blocks to do focused work on a specific pieces of a project at the beginning of my day, but this was different.

In this case, she set aside nearly half of her work day, without interruption. The results were phenomenal.

There is a tendency in those moments o want to say, ‘That was so effective, I should do it with every project that comes my way.’

Perhaps.

Being Ready

In the course of our conversation, she mentioned that her attempts to implement time blocking, are not always successful.  She will set aside the time, but then something happens to take it off course.

I immediately formed a judgement in my mind about why that was.  I was thinking about rules and permission, turning off notifications and such. But then she said something that I’m still thinking about.

“I’ve found that even if I block off the time, I may not be ready”.

It wasn’t an excuse. She was right.

There are times when I’ve set aside the time, but I still fail to accomplish anything on the project.

It got me thinking about what it means to be ready enough to use time blocking effectively.

Elements of Readiness 

Fixed time, fixed task

Projects usually have many segments. Oftentimes it can be overwhelming to look at it in its entirety. Part of using time blocking effectively is knowing which piece of the project you are going to work on and doing only that piece.

The key word for readiness here, is knowing.

40 minutes on one specific piece is far more effective that an hour spread across several bits.

Sometimes we make ourselves feel better by just having touched several parts of the project. We feel like we’ve move several pieces forward. That’s rarely the case. Resist that urge and focus your energy.

Right people

In busy work environments there is a tendency to ‘touch base’ with people throughout the day. Much like touching several parts of the project, it can give a false sense of having moved things along. Sometimes time blocking involves getting the right people in the room around a specific task to make it happen.

Bonus: Doing this effectively a few times with your team, can virtually eliminate needless meetings and frequent check ins. People start to know that focused work will be done when you are together.

Right pieces, right tools

This falls into the category of preparation. How often do you find yourself settling down to work on something and having to look in a million places for what you need?  Nothing halts momentum like having to look for that file, the email, the password, anything related to the project. Sometimes the right piece is as simple as knowing where you left off.

Intangibles made tangible

The piece of this I am still teasing out though, is the point at which you can recognize that the time has come to wrap it all up.  I’m not talking just about a deadline, but that point of knowing that you’ve completed enough of the elements, you have the right people, pieces and tools and you are ready to block off a large chunk of time for the final push to get it done.

This doesn’t happen magically, but as she and I talked, it became clear that this experience could serve as a simple yardstick,  to measure future projects by.

Building on her success, she could now ask herself, “Am I as ready as I need to be, to set aside a few hours to get this done?”

The answer, just might be ‘no’.

How do you know you’re ready?

As I’m typing this to you, I’m also working on installing a dreaded popup on chrisbrogan.com, you know, the kind that ask for your email so you can get this letter? Only, it’s not exactly working. I mean, I can get it to pop up and I can enter my information, but then the information doesn’t actually go anywhere. It just vanishes. So, not only have I upset someone by interrupted their reading, I’m not getting anything from the experience.

But if I didn’t install it and if I didn’t launch it, and if I didn’t try to get it working so that I can test what happens with it in place, how will I know whether to recommend or not recommend it to you?

LAUNCH AND LEARN

Most of us spend a lot of time planning, or thinking, or dreaming, or worrying. But we don’t launch. We just ask “what if” or we look at our stats in some part of our world and wonder why they’re going down.

What I’ve come to learn is that if you launch, you’ll learn what works and what doesn’t a lot faster than when you sit around and plan. Right?

I just launched three different new projects in the last two weeks. Want to peek at one before it’s really official? One of them did okay, but not amazing. Another is giving me trouble, but I realized that the trouble was coming from me doing too much without a concrete plan. And that’s the next point.

Here’s what you need in place before you try this method.

THE OWNER’S COMPASS

* What is the goal/outcome you seek?
* How will you measure that goal or outcome?
* Which tools & resources will you use to get there?
* What are your intentions while working on this?
* What’s the actual plan you’ll follow?
* What problems will come up?
* How will you address those problems?
* Which actions will take (list them out)?

And then, you simply have to plot the compass against this:

* Before the action/event begins.
* During the action/event.
* After the action/event.

And that’s the compass.

APPLY THIS TO WHAT YOU’RE DOING

There is, without a doubt, a project you’ve been putting off starting. You’re worried about some aspect of it. Today’s your day to work on that. Here’s what I want you to do.

1.) Copy/paste the Owner’s Compass above into a clean document, or copy it down into a notebook.

2.) Fill it out with regards to the project in mind.

3.) Look for any excess to the plan or your efforts that’s making it messy.

4.) Commit to launching the project now that you have a much better plan in place.

5.) Look for what works and what doesn’t, and fix what doesn’t. Emphasize what does.

6.) Rejoice. Repeat. Report back by hitting reply to me.

That’s it. No selly selly this week. But there’s a lot coming and we’ll announce it to you first. Why? Because I love you. : )

ONE REQUEST

There’s an audio version of this week’s letter. If you’re willing, would you share this newsletter with people who matter to you? Thanks!

Join me for free and get valuable insights that go beyond the articles posted here.

Your privacy and email address are safe with us.

And thanks so much for your support.

–Chris…